life giving words

"You can do anything you set your mind to."

I desparately want to hold onto life giving words like these.  My mother spoke them to me yesterday over the phone and I am aware that in days like this one, days where it is raining and grey ane there is no end in sight.....

I can do anything I set my mind to.  What will I set my mind to this fall, this winter?  Who will I choose to fight for?

I have trouble holding onto this truth about myself.  I turn to the next best thing, affecting change in my spouse so that I don't have to believe in myself.  Caring for other people and believing in their ability to fight has always been easier for me than believing in myself. The problem is, I have learned at some deep level that I can change anything I set my mind to...but then there are times when I can't affect change, when I set my mind to change something and it is not mine to change. 

I realize this morning that not only do I need to hear "you can do anything you set your mind to,"  I need to hold on to this for myself.  I don't need to change my spouse, I don't need to focus so much on doing anything for him, my friends,or anyone else--this is far easier for me.  I need to focus on believing these life giving words for myself.  I want to believe that I have the ability to affect change in my own life, to affect change to the things that I want for myself, for my own desires. Everyone else's desires often get muddled into my own and I have trouble seeing.

Maybe the phrase has been confusing me all my life.  I heard it like this, "You can do anything you set your mind to for someone else (for the sake of another)."  I think determination and success has been modeled as something acheived for someone else, not for myself.  This has led me to a confusing pattern of co-dependency I think.

This morning I choose to hold on to this phrase; "You can do anything you set your mind to....now choose yourself."