back from Folklife....

and enjoying my candied nuts! Josh and my favorite food at Seattle Center events. There is one booth usually near the Mural Amphitheater stage where an older man roasts and sells them.

Ahh, such a cultural experience at this folklife.

The freedom and creativity filling the artists at this glorious Memorial Day weekend event is inspiring! SOOO Much fun!

If you notice all of my pictures where taken at the Mural Amphitheater, one of my FAVORITE stages in the Seattle Center events. Yes, I do know most of them. Bumbershoot and Folklife are 2 of my favorite festivals in Seattle; I especially enjoy the lack of order at Folklife. There are artists on every pathway, randomly scattered presenting thoughtfully created musical and artist masterpieces.

poco wine room

This is the best restaurant in Capitol Hill (according to me) hands down. I definitely recommend.

Poco Wine Room on 14th and Pine.

Each time I go there I am even more amazed by their food than before. Nothing about this place is ordinary.

Good food. Good wine. Great friend. Good atmosphere. Good night.




My beautiful friend Sandy figuring out our exorbitant check.

comfort

My wonderful husband reminded me today amidst my fear, of my strength.

He reminded me of that a vigilance is sometimes necessary to choose comfort over violence.

Today I chose comfort. I am learning to be grateful for my tears as they lead me into more meaningful grieving. My tears remind me that I need a Kleenex (comfort), I need a Kleenex to hold my tears. I need comfort to help me resist my old patterns of violence and self-doubt. It is okay to need comfort.

Oh Lord, my sorrow, fear, and disorientation from today is precious. May these usher me into a season of even more healing and joy.


Thank you God for beauty and for my ability to seek it.

Thank you God for the tender, rhythmic crashing of the waves on this Edmonds beach. The smooth water and blue sky which I can look across for miles.

Thank you God for the hands of the woman who massaged my feet and painted my toenails. What difficult and hard things these feet carry me through; they deserve care.

Thank you for good friends, the Taki Tiki Bar, and good beer :-)

remember

Whenever I hear about the specific manner in which one is grieving an experience well in their life I often wonder "how did he/she know to do that?" Like many hard things in life I want there to be some type of a formula which would be best in helping a person get through a tough time.

Today as I am faced with the challenge of grieving and my desire to do it well, I am afraid I won't preform, that I will fail miserably in grieving this well. Specifically I am fearful that I will fall back into the low, dark places I have been. I am afraid that the changes that have occurred in me in the last 4 years will somehow be reversed if I fail at this point.

Hasn't there be so much more grace offered to me?

As I sit and remember those moments that I hear of others grieving well, I am aware that there is no real formula. There are commonalities though; grieving seems to be a creative process where one decides to care for themselves above all else and spend time remembering. Not so that the remembering process will be done and closed off, but so the remembering will have space to be honored.

Ok, so God, this is probably the first time I have attempted to do this well. May this not be the last time and may I not feel like I have failed miserably even if I do make a mistake or two. Thank you for grace. Help me learn to have grace for myself as You have grace for me.

our server

sometimes I feel like this server is like our first child. while so many of our friends are having babies...this Jones family has a server.

check out Josh's words about it.

I have had several conversations recently about the noise involved with this thing. It sounds like a wind tunnel. I told Josh that this new piece of equipment may share a room with our baby someday...he still decided that we needed it. And somehow he just took a couple of the fans out.

No really, I'm glad my Josh is so good with computers....though he can be kind of a nerd sometimes. Now I guess all of our files can be like TRIPLE backed up, not sure what that's for, but if it were up to me, our files would seriously already be lost.

Josh is right, we're not quite ready for a baby.

Commodore

I meant to take before and after shots, but instead you see an after shot......


and some of the tools and tasks I was busy with today.



Oh boy. My hands are sore after using a screwdriver for over 2 hours taking fixtures, internet cable, and cover plates off the wall so this place could be painted.

What beautiful sunshiney day to be in this unit working! I love the view and the light streaming in. We are about to move into the unit above this one! Hopeful we will find a renter for this one soon as well.

my moonstone

a moonstone is a gem characterized by its enchanting play of light. moonstones are said to symbolize our being in its entirety; if you look into it deep enough, its soft shimmer is said to strengthen our emotional and subconscious selves.

some say that this rock evokes our tender feelings, and that wearing it strengthens our intuition and capacity to understand.

I bought this pendant yesterday at "The Wishing Stone" in downtown Edmonds. For 4 years I have frequented this shop before or after my trips to therapy. Each time, these beautiful gems were a welcome distraction right before I walked up the stairs to my therapist's office.
I have never bought anything at this quaint little shop before except for my mother as gift when Josh and I got married.

My relationship with my therapist is ending next week. I have been with him, nearly every week for 4 years. We started a few weeks after my move out to Seattle until now. Somehow I had that courage to walk up to his office, he walked with me through so much...

To mark our relationship and help me grieve I splurged. This gem will forever be a memory of the journey I have traveled these four years, a reminder of my own strength, my own courage, and an invitation to continue in my attempts to understand.

God has blessed me immensely with these 4 years, though I am sad they need to end, I am grateful, so grateful.

boxes

Today I acquired an immense amount of packing materials and boxes (the entire wardrobe box is full of broken down boxes also).

Our upcoming move is feeling more real now.

And our apartment is pretty small to hold these boxes in here much longer.....

We hope to be done moving by June 15, this is when we start managing our new building.


This is it, THE COMMODORE. Believe me, it looks a lot smaller in this picture than it is. 33 units, mostly 2 bedrooms, and they each have patios and views of the Locks.

And here are some views we will soon enjoy....


Nearby friends, we'll let you know when we could use some help. We haven't set a date yet for when we will move the big stuff. It will probably be sometime after June 9 (when Josh has his last final).

enraged.

I ventured into watching a not rated (NR) movie last night. Usually they aren't that good, but I was pleasantly surprised. This movie is about two elementary school teachers in Brooklyn. One is a Muslim woman, the other an Orthodox Jew. Despite the disapproval of their families they become great friends.

Near the beginning of the movie during the teacher's orientation and training to start the school year, the principal of this school is trying to "educate" her new teachers in cultural competence. Though her intentions are good, this principal's view of the acceptance of another's differences is so very limited; she knew how to "accept" the people in her school from inner city Brooklyn but was oblivious in treating her new Muslim and Orthodox Jew teachers with equality.

In one scene the principal tells these two teachers that they aren't experiencing life to the fullest within their religious traditions because they are not open enough to another's opinions and ways of doing things (look who's talking!) The principal puts down these teacher's manners of dressing (one with a head covering and the other very conservative) and offers to give them each enough money to buy new wardrobes.

Both teachers are enraged after this confrontation. One thinks it would be a good idea to sue the school. One says, "or we could just educate them."

Educating the school at this point may be an extremely difficult task, but it is something to think about. Far too often my anger gets in the way of my love and compassion for others.

today I hope to not let my anger get in the way of SEEING.

inspection in Seattle sunshine.

What a lovely day in Seattle! Around lunchtime it clouded over and sprinkled just enough to bring out the fresh rain smell I have become so accustomed to, and LOVE.

The sun came out again later this afternoon. Josh and I had some work to do around our building. I cleaned the hallways, stairwells (one of our weekly tasks), he worked on some mulching/landscaping out front.

I love our neighborhood.



I really love our building. Didn't Josh do a great job!

Next, Josh and I did an "inspection" of our roof. With such a lovely evening, we couldn't pass up the opportunity. Margaritas in hand (Josh's was virgin because he had to study later), we went up there to "inspect" and enjoy the beauty.


We are pretty grateful for this place. The photos don't even do it justice.

Our Love Story

Oh my. What a goood movie. It is a tear jerker and touched my heart in some ways it is not easily touched. It urges my heart to hope and to pray...

The romance between these two is beautiful, courageous, and strong. Together they know love and will not accept a love that is false.

Oh Lord, strengthen our love that it be bold, courageous and strong. Let us never grow tired of supporting one another and together walk towards freedom that is good. Amen.

Our neighborhood "Matador"

Those who know Josh and me, know that The Matador in Ballard is our absolute favorite place to go on date nights. Many many nights in graduate school we would go there (usually Sunday nights) after studying and get one of their wonderful, towering platters of steak nachos. Mac and Jacks, my favorite beer is even on tap there! The Matador will always be my favorite around Seattle for happy hour/reasonably priced dates, but I wanted to introduce you to our neighborhood "Matador" in Capitol Hill. Josh and I walked down to this neighborhood Mexican restaurant tonight to relive some memories and enjoy their nachos :-)



El Farol. Our neighborhood "Matador."

peruse the interior....




cute, quaint. Sometimes it is busy, often it is not (but this hidden gem on 15th should no longer be overlooked!)



The nachos are wonderful. A little more authentic Mexican than the "tex mex" of the Matador. We recognize the family waitstaff every time we walk in there (and they often recognize us). Prices are comparable and hey, what beats being able to walk to your dinner? Josh and I have enjoyed many date nights here.

Enjoying....theo Chocolate among other things

I LOVE Theo chocolate. I went on a tour yesterday afternoon with my friend Anna. It was wonderful. I never knew exactly how chocolate was made, SO interesting.

You know how sometimes you need an entire chocolate bar to satisfy that chocolate craving? With Theo chocolate, you don't need the whole bar, you just need a small piece. The chocolate is so wonderful; taste so rich, full, and deep, it is hard to eat more than a piece. If you really savor it, you are blown away by the flavor within. It opens your eyes to what is possible with chocolate.....

Oh Lord, may I savor, enjoy, experience life in the way I easily enjoy Theo's chocolate. May I be content with just one small piece, and may I never overlook your abundant blessings when you hand me more goodness than I could ever reasonably experience in one sitting. Amen.

la la lasagna

I do not plan to make this blog all about cooking, but making lasagna for my husband and myself was on the to-do list today. This dish is an old favorite of mine (and ours :-) I love all the leftovers one pan of it makes.

And...I enjoyed myself too. It is a BEAUTIFUL day in Seattle today. I opened the windows in our apartment, and with the sunlight streaming in, I began to cook. This may be the last time I make lasagna in our small kitchen.

If you remember, my last lasagna pan broke. It was very unfortunate, this pan matched our other dishes and was a perfect size. I did buy a new one and this cooking today christens it. The new one is white, and much to my delight, actually is a more perfect size than the last one I had. I like to make large lasagnas when I make it= use the entire box of noodles and lots of leftovers.

Below are all the components I made before I started to assemble the dish.
Homemade spaghetti sauce.
Cottage Cheese/egg/parsley/cheese mixture.--I use cottage cheese instead of ricotta, cheaper and easier to work with I think.
noodles ready to be drained.

I won't tell you my entire recipe (because I may not be able to think of it all again). Cooking is a bit creative for me. I basically have certain ways I usually make the spaghetti sauce, cheese mixture, etc. If I forget some of the proportions or the exact cook time, I just remind myself with looking at the back of the lasagna noodle box.



Turns out perfect every time.



Cover with tin foil. Put in refrigerator, and follow cooking directions when you are ready. Josh is going to stick this particular lasagna in the oven later and then we will begin to devour. MMMMMMmmmmmm GOOD!

Below is some leftover sauce. I like leftovers.

Genesis

This is the building where we started our lives together, Josh and I, married. This is the place where we worked on working together in ways we had never before.

A beautiful, small building in Capitol Hill. A wonderful neighborhood where I often walked down to 15th, the post office, Victrola.....the beautiful tree lined streets made me smile every time. The unique houses of Capitol Hill characterize it's ornate beauty.

I will miss this place. I will miss Capitol Hill. So many have asked me, "Have you started packing yet?"

No, I haven't really started packing yet. I think the work of moving from here has started however. I have begun to enter into my deep need to cherish, for this last month, this Capitol hill and the beginnings it holds.