remember

Whenever I hear about the specific manner in which one is grieving an experience well in their life I often wonder "how did he/she know to do that?" Like many hard things in life I want there to be some type of a formula which would be best in helping a person get through a tough time.

Today as I am faced with the challenge of grieving and my desire to do it well, I am afraid I won't preform, that I will fail miserably in grieving this well. Specifically I am fearful that I will fall back into the low, dark places I have been. I am afraid that the changes that have occurred in me in the last 4 years will somehow be reversed if I fail at this point.

Hasn't there be so much more grace offered to me?

As I sit and remember those moments that I hear of others grieving well, I am aware that there is no real formula. There are commonalities though; grieving seems to be a creative process where one decides to care for themselves above all else and spend time remembering. Not so that the remembering process will be done and closed off, but so the remembering will have space to be honored.

Ok, so God, this is probably the first time I have attempted to do this well. May this not be the last time and may I not feel like I have failed miserably even if I do make a mistake or two. Thank you for grace. Help me learn to have grace for myself as You have grace for me.